The new year is finally around the corner, and no one can wait to celebrate — but how will they? With indoor dining barred across the country, and many avoiding get-togethers altogether, this New Year will be anything but ordinary.
Many wonder what 2021 will even look like. When we emerge from our pods and dust off our “going-out” threads, where will we actually go? And when we get there, what will we be drinking?
The greatest minds of our generation gathered in the subreddit “r/AskReddit” to answer the question: “You go up to a bartender and tell him: ‘Make me a 2020.’ What drink does he make?”
We scanned the hive for the best responses, and compiled them below.
1. Keep your distance.
“[It’s] a shot you have to take with 6ft long straw.”
2. It wouldn’t be a 2020 cocktail without hand sanitizer.
“Equal parts everclear, and durian liquor, served in a pint glass, with a bomb of neat bitters.”
The drink is then garnished with a lone cheeto, and set on fire.”
3. … Or cocktails to go.
“He gives you a gin and tonic in a styrofoam cup to go and then tells you to please leave as its 9:59 and theyll be closing in 1 minute”
4. Waste not, want not.
“Pours everything that’s spilled on the bar mat into a shot glass.”
5. On second thoughts…
“They mop the floor and wring it out into a highball glass. Neat.”
6. We’re all home bartenders these days anyway.
“He just closes the bar. You have to go and make your own drink at home.”
7. No need for jiggers or shots glasses after the year we’ve just had.
“It’s just vodka but it’s served in a 700ml bottle instead of a shot glass.”
8. The perfect alternative dairy for your latte.
9. AKA “Rotten grapefruit, sugar, and regret.”.
10. The Easiest Low ABV Cocktail
“Sex on the Beach. But the only ingredient is sand.”
11. And finally, where would we be without our most esteemed mixologists?
“One shot each of tequila, rum, and bourbon, 1/4 cup Guinness, then pour in a shaker and add oatmeal, Tabasco, a scoop of raspberry sorbet, a fresh sprig of cigarette, molten brass and some bacon.
Shake vigorously, pour from shaker into slushy mug, drop in a cactus branch.
Try not to enjoy.”